And now we return to the excitement of what may be the final of the thirty seven episode continuing saga “How Many Times Do You Have to Say Goodbye Before You Are Gone?
As this chapter begins, we find our hero Captain Clark, steely-eyed interstellar bush pilot, talking with the Fair Maid Marion, heroine supreme, on the planet X49, located somewhere near the middle of the solar system Fla (pronounced fla).
The story unfolds… Aboard the Stearship, It’s No Prize, Fair Maid Marion, Fairest of the Fair, is listening and Captain Clark explains, “I’ve been trying to purchase 100LL Lithium Crystals, to upload into the fuel bay of the Stearship, It’s No Prize. We need the fuel for our upcoming cross-galaxy journey to visit GBG (TLA
At the mention of her name by the handsome young captain, Fair Maid Marion blinked her long curly eyelashes and replied, “Yes, Capt’n”
Captain Clark goes on: “I know all of you are wondering why I called this meeting of the entire crew of the Stearship. It’s No Prize. I wanted everyone present when I post the assignments for our next adventure. These are the crew assignments. I will be the Captain, as usual. You, Fair Mid Marion, have been promoted to Captainess. No longer will you be referred to as simply Fair Maid Marion, the GIF (TLA for Gal In Front), but as Captainess Mary. Your station on this journey will be the FLOB (FLA [Four Letter Acronym] for Forward Lookout Observation Bay).”
“I am assigning you to this position even though will have only a partial Deflection Shield to protect you. You will be subject to a constant bombardment of horizontally accelerated atmospheric particles at all times. At other times you can expect to be pelted by meteorites made up of joined particles of hydrogen and oxygen. It goes without saying, your position in the FLOB, located just aft of the Lybrushing Radical 680 Power Station, emits an enormous number of decibels. I suggest you wear your Direct Current Space Helmet with integral dual audio inputs and a single universally adjustable audio output. As you recall, even though the Lybrushing Radical 680 Liquid source Fossil Burning energy converter produces a great deal of heat and noise, only the noise reaches the FLOB. To prevent hypo and other types of thermia, next to your skin, you must wear your regulation full length garment which is made from the fleece of the sheep. In addition, you must wear, as your outer garment, a protective covering made from the hide of the Nagha. Nevertheless, I need someone in the FLOB with your superior skills, to be on the lookout at all times, for alien spamships. I know you can do it!”
The brand new Captainess, with her golden brown eyes, which could melt butter, looked into the eyes of the Captain and replied with a soft voice, “Yes, Capt’n.”
The Stearship Captain went on, “Now that the every member of the flight crew has their assignments, we will begin our cross-galaxy planning to the Stearbase on the planet Nsfi.”
“Captainess Mary, would you please bring me the VFR (TLA for Very Far Regions) charts?”
“Yes, Capt’n Clark but the VFR charts we have are several light years old. However, I do have my Jumpsome Intergalactic Travel Planning Kit right here. Do you want use the IFR (TLA for I Fly Regardless) charts instead?”
“No, we won’t be using the IFR charts on this cross-galaxy trip, Captainess. As it now appears, we will barely be able to achieve escape velocity from Planet X49. We will have to stop at many FBOs (TLA for Flight Break Opportunities) in order to upload the MO lithium we need before we arrive at Nsfi. We must plan to reenergize at those FBOs which have the environmentally correct horizontal natural surface landing area, in order to spare Stearship, It’s No Prize, any embarrassing and expensive high speed horizontal circle movement, as we make the docking maneuver. It is important to avoid such horizontal circle maneuvers, so we don’t have to meet the people at the FAA (TLA for Folks Against Aviation), as well as the people at the SRA (TLA for Stearship Re-finance Agency).” So we will not use the IFR charts. If you will contact Sergeant Sporty in Supply, I’m certain he will have the VFR charts we need. Since we are in a bit of a hurry this time, please give him the extra halalas to ensure we get the charts this light year. Until we have the VFR charts, this meeting is adjourned.”
It was only then the beautiful Captainess, with the wonderful golden brown eyes and short black hair, murmured, “Yes, Capt’n.”
Later, that same light year…
Captain Clark ponders while pointing to the location of Planet X49 on the newly received VFR charts. Captainess Mary waits for the Captain to speak.
Captain Clark speaks.
“Lets see. As I visualize it, we are here and we want to go there. Are Are you with me so far?” Upon hearing the remark, the beautiful recently promoted Captainess could only roll her big golden brown eyes toward the sky, blink her beautiful eyelashes and whisper, “Yes, Capt’n.”
The steely eyed Captain continues: “In order to keep the Kleon Arabians from defeating us, each and every Earth rotation we must be at a Stearship Landing Area before the star Sun is hidden below the horizon of the rotating planet Earth. Each time we are on the opposite side of the Earth from the Sun, we must be within the walls of those who are related to us by blood or by friendship. The technical Stearship term for this particular evasive maneuver is called RON (Relatives Or Near-friends) As you know this technique is a part of the overall program called SOP (TLA for Stop Outrageous Prices) and is normal in all Stearship operations. So if we SOP with RON, we will have more halalas for the tribute we will be forced to pay the Kleon Arabians for the 100LL Lithium or MO Lithium power source.”
As we plan our trip across the galaxy to Stearbase Nsfi, we will not be traveling on a direct line. To further confuse the Kleon Arabians, we will be traveling each Earth rotation time unit only the general direction of Nsfi. Instead we will proceed directly to the next RON. Tell me Captainess Mary, to whom are we related or to whom do we know in the solar system of Ga or the solar systems of Ar or Mo? I want you to research these questions very carefully. The answers are important to the success of our journey. Not only will it SOP, but it will help to defeat the Kleon Arabians too!”
The young, curvaceous, newly promoted Captainess, willing to oblige in every way, responded in her soft honey voice, “Yes, Capt’n.”
The Captain went on further, to explain, “To aid us in our pilgrimage to Nsfi, we will use a new navigation device, a secret unknown to the Kleon Arabians. We can navigate efficiently using a minimum or 100LL or MO fuel crystals. It is called GPS (TLA for Guess Position Services). I want you to study up on use of the GPS before we blast off from X49.”
Then, for the briefest moment, their eyes met. Time stood still. Captainess Mary moistened her pouty red lips with the tip of her tongue and smiled, showing her perfect white teeth. She spoke volumes when she softly replied, “Yes, Capt’n.” Then she went back to work planning the journey to Nsfi.
As the time grew closer to blast off from X49, there were many more planning meetings of a technical nature similar to the one described above, but to complex to relate here.
At last, Blast-Off Day at X49 arrives! The morning is cool and clear. The day has the promise of sunshine and gentle breezes as the Earth time unit of one planet rotation progresses. The Stearship “It’s No Prize” is moved into position on the environmentally cor-launch site on the Planet X49. After a lengthy countdown of many complex checks, the Captain signals the Captainess he is ready to launch the Stearship “It’s No Prize” into the unknown. He utters the universal Stearship command:” Hang on!”
The beautiful young Captainess cries out with joy in her sultry voice. ”Yes! Oh yes, Capt’n!”
When we last see the Stearship “It’s No Prize”, piloted by the brave crew Captain Clark and Captainess Mary, it disappears into the far reaches of the northern blue horizon of the planet X49,in the solar system Fla, on a multiple-stage sub-orbital trajectory to the Stearbase Nsfi, bound for the annual gathering of the Stearships.
And thus, a new adventure begins.