Top 10 Resons Why FBO Courtesy Cars are Never Stolen
They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down, or drop important parts on the road, assuming they are even able to get off the airport.
The last flight crew left only 1 pint of gas in it, yielding a usable range for the 2-ton, 454-powered Detroit battlewagon, to about 20 yards. If downhill. With a tailwind.
It is difficult to drive fast with all the chock blocks, grease rags, ropes, towbars, taxiway lightbulbs, Burger King wrappers, and 3 year old Trade-A-Planes in the seat.
It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboards clouds your vision.
Lem, the A & P apprentice sleeping in the back seat, looks mean.
They’re too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The car is overall brown but the left door is Cessna Sunset Red with the airport’s name spray painted in green zinc chromate, the trunklid is Lock Haven Yellow, there’s a Stearman decal in the rear window, the bumper sticker says: “My other Car is an F-16”, etc.
The large pile of bald 6.00X6 tires in the back seat makes it hard to see if you’re being chased. You could use the one passenger-side 8″ X 12″ outside mirror if it wasn’t cracked and covered with duct tape.
Top speed is only about 45 mph (but the speedometer face has an “Inoperative” decal on it.)
Who wants a car that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in bodywork, rewiring, a windshield, and a thorough dipping in a vat of JB Weld.
It’s hard to commit a crime with everyone laughing at you.
By Harvey Hartman|2001-05-09T00:00:19+00:00May 9th, 2001|Announcements|Comments Off on Top 10 Resons Why FBO Courtesy Cars are Never Stolen