Airspeed – Speed of an airplane. Deduct 25% when listening to a retired Air Force pilot.
Bank – The folks who hold the lien on most pilots’ cars.
Carburetor Icing – A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas.
Cone of Confusion – An area about the size of New Jersey, located near the final approach beacon at an airport.
Crab – A VFR Instructor’s attitude on an IFR day.
Dead Reckoning – You reckon correctly, or you are.
Destination – Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot’s bladder saturation point.
Engine Failure – A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.
Firewall – Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.
Flight Following – Formation flying.
Glide Distance – Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
Hobbs – An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.
Hydroplane – An airplane designed to land long on a short & wet runway.
IFR – A method of flying by needle and horoscope.
Lean Mixture – Nonalcoholic beer.
Mini Mag Lite – Device designed to support the AA battery industry.
Nanosecond – Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and carburetor.
Parachutes – The two ‘chutes in a Stearman.
Parasitic Drag – A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
Range – Usually about 3 miles short of the destination.
Rich Mixture – What you order at another pilot’s promotion party.
Roger – Used when you’re not sure what else to say.
Sectional Chart – Any chart that ends 25 nm short of your destination.
Service Ceiling – Altitude at which cabin crews can serve drinks.
Spoilers – FAA Inspectors.
Stall – Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
Steep Bank – Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest .
Turn & Bank Indicator – An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
Useful Load – Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.
VOR – Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect on pilots trying to home in on it.
WAC Chart – Directions to the Army female barracks.
Yankee – Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to “Say again.”