Airspeed – Speed of an airplane. Deduct 25% when listening to a retired Air Force pilot.

Bank – The folks who hold the lien on most pilots’ cars.

Carburetor Icing – A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas. 

Cone of Confusion – An area about the size of New Jersey, located near the final approach beacon at an airport. 

Crab – A VFR Instructor’s attitude on an IFR day. 

Dead Reckoning – You reckon correctly, or you are. 

Destination – Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot’s bladder saturation point. 

Engine Failure – A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air. 

Firewall – Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit. 

Flight Following – Formation flying. 

Glide Distance – Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field. 

Hobbs – An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction. 

Hydroplane – An airplane designed to land long on a short & wet runway. 

IFR – A method of flying by needle and horoscope. 

Lean Mixture – Nonalcoholic beer. 

Mini Mag Lite – Device designed to support the AA battery industry. 

Nanosecond – Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and carburetor. 

Parachutes – The two ‘chutes in a Stearman. 

Parasitic Drag – A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service. 

Range – Usually about 3 miles short of the destination. 

Rich Mixture – What you order at another pilot’s promotion party. 

Roger – Used when you’re not sure what else to say. 

Sectional Chart – Any chart that ends 25 nm short of your destination. 

Service Ceiling – Altitude at which cabin crews can serve drinks. 

Spoilers – FAA Inspectors. 

Stall – Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late. 

Steep Bank – Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest .

Turn & Bank Indicator – An instrument largely ignored by pilots. 

Useful Load – Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight. 

VOR – Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect on pilots trying to home in on it. 

WAC Chart – Directions to the Army female barracks. 

Yankee – Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to “Say again.”